You’re not the person I married.
We just drifted apart.
We got bored with each other.
Our marriage was a farce.
If we want to live like we do then I need to work like I do.
They were more married to their job.
I just had to prove myself.
I have often seen churches, missions, jobs, sports, entertainment and the placing of ‘that thing’ above marriage. Always with great sense of duty, vocation, even service. I don’t know if it is because it is easier to serve and be dutiful to the thing than the person they married. Maybe it is a slow slipping, just the way things happen, a first world problem.
At times I have been outspoken against certain activities because of the rotten fruit it produces in some people’s marriages. But really, there is no one thing or groups of things that can be eliminated and your marriage will be sweet. It is as if the weather of this world is constantly howling against our marriages, trying to find a way to get it’s cold tentacles into our hearts and freeze them. You shore up one area, and another gets attacked.
The issue at point is, what are the chasm creators in your marriage?
What have you allowed to slowly bring separation?
What is the elephant in the room?
What topic is always left unspoken?
From an untidy, lazy habit, to a full blown obsession.
The telling question that can only ever be asked, never forced on the other, is.
What things am I doing that are creating a chasms between us?
Every one of us has things that the other person is doing that grate. I am not talking about answering this question to change traits in the other to just make ourselves comfortable. Rather I am thinking of those things, those actions, were one spend oneselves, that is eloquently justify, that are creating chasms. Things that even while doing a lot of good are a winters cold slowly penetrating, allowing the beginning statements to come into existence.
It only takes one to create a chasm, it takes two to close it.